Facetia LXXXII Joke 82
Ciriacus Anconitanus, homo verbosus et nimium loquax, deplorabat aliquando, astantibus nobis, casum atque eversionem Imperii Romani, Ciriaco d’Ancona, a verbose and far too talkative man, was once lamenting the fall and destruction of the Roman empire, while we were standing nearby. It seemed to cause him great pain. inque ea re vehementius angi videbatur. Tum Antonius Luscus, vir doctissimus, qui in coetu aderat, ridens hominis stultam curam: Then Antonio Loschi, a very learned man who was in our group, laughed at the man’s stupid worry and said: 'Hic persimilis est,' inquit, 'viro Mediolanensi, qui, die festo, cum audisset unum e grege cantorum (qui gesta heroum ad plebem decantant) recitantem mortem Rolandi, qui septingentis iam ferme annis in proelio occubuit, “He is very similar to a man from Milan who on a feast day heard a man from a group of singers (who were singing about the deeds of the heroes to the people) recite the Death of Roland, who had died in battle almost seven-hundred years ago. coepit acriter flere, atque inde, The man started crying bitterly. cum uxor domum reversum maestum ac gementem vidisset, rogassetque quidnam accidisset novi: Later when his wife upon his return saw him sad and mournful, she asked him what had happened. 'Heu! mea uxor,' inquit, 'defunctus sum!' He said: “oh dear wife, I just want to die!” 'Mi vir,' uxor ait, 'quid tibi adversi evenit? The wife said: “dear husband, what misfortune has befallen you? Solare, atque ad cenam veni.' Cheer up and come to dinner!” At ille cum in gemitu perseveraret, neque cibum vellet sumere, tandem instantius maeroris causam percontanti mulieri: But he kept on sighing and refused to eat, and finally the wife demanded to know the reason for his grief and he replied: “Do you know what news I heard today?” An nescis,' respondit, 'quae nova hodie audivi?' 'Quaenam, vir?' uxor inquit. The wife said: “What news, husband?” 'Mortuus est Rolandus, qui solus tuebatur Christianos!' “Roland, the lone protector of all Christians, is dead!” Solata est mulier insulsam maestitiam viri, et vix tandem ad cenam potuit illum perducere. The wife then soothed the husband’s silly grief and could, with some difficulty, make him come to dinner.